Clickbait Boyfriend Takes on Roxas: Nobody’s a Winner Here


-Josh, losing  to Roxas again and again

Welcome back to Clickbait Boyfriend: Special Roxas Butt-Kicking Edition! I’ve been excited for this post since Clickbait Boyfriend Season Two (AKA Kingdom Hearts 2) began. I admit, I messed with the timeline a little bit to create this Roxas-centric blog. Technically, Clickbait Boyfriend attempted to battle this ReMix exclusive boss before he visited Pride Rock, but left when he figured out (read: played and lost until way past his bedtime) he was too weak. Forgive me for taking some artistic liberties so that this saga could be contained in a single post.

Let’s watch the slow descent into madness unfold.

(Catch up on all of our Clickbait Boyfriend content here!)

Roxas Sora Boss Fight The End

No, it’s just the beginning.

“They said keep an eye out for reaction commands, but that’s literally not a reaction command.”

-on “The End”

Text doesn’t really do Josh’s frustration justice. He’s got a lot more to say in this Clickbait Boyfriend mini-vlog, fresh off one of his early defeats:

This would not be the last time Roxas kicked his keyblade butt.

“You give me literally point one seconds to f#*^ing do it?”

-on being too slow

To add insult to injury, Clickbait Boyfriend was milliseconds away from that crucial command many times, but close ain’t gonna cut it here. Still, that didn’t stop him from ranting about it again. Despite the fact that he was literally hundreds of miles from our PS3 (and me!), he couldn’t let it go.

To this day, he still thinks it was a grave injustice.


-on sweet victory

The following is the actual moment of victory. Prepare for some pure emotion:

“I can’t believe Blizzard is what saved me there.”

-on unexpected heroes

Clickbait Boyfriend and I agree that requiring Sora to finish off a boss with a combo or a special command is BS. Clickbait Boyfriend is particularly magic-phobic, so the fact that one of his least used spells was the final blow against Roxas is particularly ironic.

“Axel was just gnawing on that sea salt ice cream like a rabid dog.”

-on delicious dessert

Last weekend, Clickbait Boyfriend and I had ice cream before lunch that he described as being a “good breakfast ice cream,” so we can sympathize. Although, Axel’s ice-cream eating style is particularly…enthusiastic.

Axel and Roxas Sea Salt Ice Cream

Nobodies don’t get brain freeze. Dude is just biting right in.

“I have never felt better about myself than now after defeating that boss.”

-on the benefits of video games

Nobody ever tell me that video games don’t make a positive impact.

Sora celebrating Olympus Coliseum

Next post: The final Clickbait Boyfriend: Kingdom Hearts 2 edition! Nobody will be able to believe what happens in the final installment!

Just kidding, but the nobody pun was too good to pass up 🙂

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